(THIS HEART) A MASSIVE BUBBLE

I cry for the moon, when the clouds suffocate her
I cry for the sun, when she fails to ignite a fire
I cry for the stars, when they continue to shine for us even when they’re dead
I cry for oxygen, when she’s taken for granted
I cry for earth, when they said she’s gonna die soon
I cry for love, when she’s exhausted in trying to save the world from doom,
thinking she’s the only cure!

I weep. I wail.
I see myself decayed
with the unborn, unheard, and unspoken
Chipped. Flaked. Covered with blight.
And so I weep, I wail and wail
for all those who have to carry and lose a light
even for the dead rat on the trail
Now I’m doused as a sponge
Plunging. Spilling. (Fucking) soaking.
This heart always gets me in trouble
Stay away, for I burst as a massive bubble


P.S.

This piece is raw, unrevised, and unedited.

I’d love to hear your unfiltered thoughts. Thank you.

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65 Replies to “(THIS HEART) A MASSIVE BUBBLE”

      1. Ah! I get it now. It was beautiful indeed! Straight from heart, you say… Hmmm. Art is great when it’s raw, and especially if it’s straight from the heart! Something natural. Don’t change it then. You are such a great writer, you know. Ha Ha Ha. *Claps and hugs*

        Liked by 2 people

      2. You don’t have to change your opinion, though πŸ˜‚ it’s totally fine, I appreciate and value sincere comments, no matter how ugly the truth is. πŸ˜‰ But thank you, really. I’m delighted to know that you think I could always write better. πŸ’›πŸ’™

        Like

      3. Lol! No, I really mean it. If it was impromptu, then it was pretty darn good poetry. And, yes you write better than this. But this was a raw draft, and for a raw one, it’s great buddy. All creators have a few raw drafts, as well as a few polished pieces to their fame. This one will be your raw one! Cheers! And cheer up! Ha Ha Ha. 😎

        Liked by 2 people

  1. This is amazing. Perhaps this is best left raw? Personally, I don’t see any more room for improvement in this piece but you have this uncanny ability to do the impossible and keep impressing so I won’t rule out you making this even more enthralling with a few revisions.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I appreciate all the kind words, Sulaiman! πŸ’™ Thank yoooouuu πŸ’› I’m not sure yet if I’m gonna revise this, all I know right now is I’ve posted something that went out straight from my heart. And it’s kind of a relief.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha, while we’re on the subject, I hope you realize all of my comments on your posts are absolutely genuine.
        Truth be told, I don’t really go through many blogs on WP because I’m generally pressed for time but you are quite honestly one of my top 5 bloggers and I absolutely envy your gift for writing. I just hope you realize how wonderfully talented you are.
        And about this work being straight from your heart, are you doing okay because this post was quite intense? I hope everything is good with you?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I feel very honored, Sulaiman!! I thank you, wholeheartedly πŸ’–πŸ’– Your words are like rain on a desert. ✨ Thank you for asking, I think I’m just quite emotional today. But no worries, I’ll be fine. πŸ˜‰ Hope you’re doing great, though. Enjoy the rest of your day!! Hugs 🌈

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I’m so sorry to hear that. Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure things will start looking up for you soon enough, trust me ❀.
        And if you ever need to vent or get something off your chest, I’ll always be more than happy to hear you out. You too enjoy the rest of your day πŸ™†

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You needn’t cry for the moon
    The clouds gather to save her from perverse glares
    You needn’t cry for the stars
    For in their death, we must honor their light
    You needn’t cry for the sun
    For he sets our spirit on fire to live on
    You needn’t cry for oxygen
    Though she maybe uncared for, she knows her way around
    You needn’t cry for the earth
    Despite her abuse, she’ll know to take care of herself
    See yourself more carefully
    For everything seemingly decayed
    Has new life and growth, just delayed
    Don’t feel so drenched silly
    Your heart may get you in trouble
    That’s why you have a mind
    To keep it in control and security double
    You burst a bubble, they all might’ve heard a pop
    There are more to come, touch them tenderly, and their bursting shall stop

    Dark again haha! But well written!

    Liked by 4 people

  3. This is fucking amazing. I love the way you wrote yourself through the words, this feels very much like you put a piece of yourself into this poem. It makes for such an authentic read.

    “this heart always gets me in trouble” – Same girl, same. Eli, I don’t know how you do it, but everytime you write something I find myself blown away. This was no exception. Lots of love xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Fiona, from the bottom of this troublemaker heart, thank yooouuuu!!! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– I love reading your thoughts and comments, always! And you know it, Fiona. It’s the pain! πŸ˜‚ Love and hugs!!! πŸ’™πŸ’›

      Liked by 1 person

  4. indeed, very raw and moving. i think that this could be two poems, actually…the first section with its refrain: “i cry for…,” and the second poem begins with “i weep i wail.” if you were to write it as two poems, you could flesh them both out, or leave them as shorter expressions of the despair that shines like bright tears here. thank you for sharing such bone-deep feelings with all of us so trustingly, eli. keeping writing the pain (away, i hope).

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for the idea, I’ll try to revise this into two and see how it will turn out. And thank you for always reading and appreciating all my work. I’m really grateful to have you, Mariah! 🌻 Love and hugs πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸŒˆ

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you understand this poem (and me) more than I do.. I just wrote this on a whim, and without thinking about anything that constricts me. Having this heart always makes me suffer, though. Thank you, Rulla πŸ’– I really appreciate it 🌻🌈

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Poems that come naturally are the ones that come from the heart, without much thought. Your heart speaks for itself, love. Having a big heart makes us suffer, but only because we are such caring beings. You’re welcome darling πŸ™‚ all my love!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. This is your best writing I’ve seen so far. It has a profound unfiltered raw effect and I am going to reblog it with your permission. This is very gripping along with the image which has such suffocating and dark effect but as I see(after reading the comments) you’re already feeling better. I hope you feel even better soon. Take care Eli πŸ™‚ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Anand! 🌈 It’s such a relief to write something like this, and also to know that people like you can still appreciate and see the beauty of it despite darkness and rawness. It means a lot, thanks!! 🌻

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes that’s cathartic not just for the writer but also for readers like me and you have this amazing ability to enter into the skin of your readers which engrosses them even more πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this! It seems like you cry for the earth, for yourself and who knows more? I like the wailing pleas… I can hear it shrieking… it is disturbing but it is real!

    Liked by 1 person

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